Grief Counseling in Lakewood, CO
Are you carrying a quiet ache due to a loss that no one seems to understand?
Does it feel like the world continues to spin and you are still standing still?
Do you feel exhausted trying to move forward or hold it all together?
If you have experienced loss, whether it was a death of a loved one or an unfulfilled dream, you are in the right place.
Loss and the feelings of grief are not a problem to be solved, but an experience that needs to be seen, held, and given space.
At Lakewood Holistic Counseling, I do not believe that grief is something you need to get over. I believe grief and loss are something that you learn to carry and integrate into your story. The good news is that you do not have to carry or try to make sense of your loss on your own.
The Invisible Ache of Loss
Experiencing grief and loss is a normal part of life. However, because of its “normalcy” we are often times expected to get over it and move on. Unfortunately, this is not how our hearts and minds work. Pushing grief and loss down can often lead to more illness, isolation, burn out, substance use, anxiety, depression, and more.
Many times, people are afraid to bring up death or loss out of fear of making someone upset. Or sometimes the griever feels a sense of duty to let the person asking know that they are ok. Grief counseling is the perfect place to connect with a trained grief therapist where you can be authentic in your grieving process, and not feel pressured to be ok.
Through relational, attachment based grief and loss counseling, you get to process your story of loss, feel your emotions without judgement, and integrate the loss in way that allows you to carry it while moving forward. Losses in our life cannot be forgotten, but we can build our life around them with care and compassion.
Questions about grief counseling? Reach out today.
Grief is not linear
Grief looks different for everyone. You may have heard of the five stages of grief, which can be helpful in understanding grief. However, what the five stages miss is that they are not linear. The experience of grief is more fluid and like an ocean- some days life feels calm and at ease, other days waves are rough and crashing.
Here are some normal experiences of grief:
Deep anger
Deep sadness
Disbelief
Physical ache in your body and/or heavy tiredness
Relief
Relief followed by guilt
Brain fog
Anxiety
Not feeling anything
You may experience one of the above, all of the above, or none of the above. Having a grief therapist that can be with you in whatever way grief and loss impacts you, means you never have to pretend you are okay or force yourself to move forward.
Most of us think of death as the only type of loss, but we also experience many non-death losses throughout our lives. Some of these losses stem from life transitions and others are more hidden.
Here are some types of non-death losses that I work with:
chronic illness
unfulfilled dreams for your life
relationships ending
relationships starting
caregiving
moving
losing a job or career
loss due to natural disaster
loss due to violence
empty nest
loss of pet (lost, stolen, re-homed)
loss of community due to changing values
family estrangement
loss of sense of self due to trauma or complex trauma
EMDR
Sometimes grief is complicated by trauma. The trauma could be how someone died, or the emotional neglect that occurred in a difficult relationship. EMDR helps process the hard memories, the negative beliefs like “it was my fault” or “I should have done something different,” and the difficult emotions that keep you stuck replaying the loss.
My Approach to Grief and Loss Therapy
Relational and Attachment Based Therapy
Grief is often lonely. In relational, attachment based therapy we focus on undoing your aloneness. We sit together in the hard feelings, noticing how grief shows up in your body in the present moment. By processing these emotions in a safe, supportive, therapeutic relationship, the heavy grief begins to transform into a manageable part of your story.
Animal Assisted Therapy with Winston the therapy dog
Sometimes, words are too much. Winston provides a calming, non-verbal presence. His gentle attunement and support helps regulate your nervous system when the waves of grief feel like they are too much.
Common Questions about Grief and Loss
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The ache of grief is painful and in the darkest moments can feel overwhelming. There is no set deadline on grief going away. However, therapy can help transform grief by slowly taking the sharp painful moments of grief and softening them. The loss will remain, but how you respond to triggers of the loss will change, how you cope with the loss changes, and how the loss becomes integrated into your story changes as your life grows around it.
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Anticipatory grief is real. You may have a loved one with a terminal illness, an aging pet, or a sense that a relationship is coming to an end. This type of grief often leaves you living in two worlds at once: trying to be present in the moment while simultaneously bracing for a future that contains loss. It can lead to a state of high alert as you watch and wait for the loss to occur and at times trying to prevent an inevitable loss. Therapy for grief and loss at Lakewood Holistic Counseling provides a space to process the complicated, pre-loss reactions and emotions. By beginning the work now, we can work together to find moments where you feel grounded during a time that feels uncertain. You do not have to wait for the grief or loss to happen to receive support.
Grief and loss is not meant to be experienced alone
Whether you are grieving a death that happened many years ago or recently, a non-death loss, or you are anticipating a loss; therapy for grief and loss can help. Reach out today to connect for your free 20 minute consultation on how grief and loss counseling can support you.
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